Okay, so I'm doing the continuation of fast food franchises and their resemblances to certain musical genres. Since I'm waiting for the rest of the BJB crew and the Reverend Deadeye to rouse themselves into a resemblance of awareness (or five minutes before Nicky Ninedoors kicks in BJB's door and commandeers the jacuzzi tub and all hell breaks loose) I figured I'd eat some time doing this. Besides I have eaten way too much of this junk on tour already and this is kind of my literary bowel cleanse in lieu of an actual one....

Tim Hortons - (region specific) Canadian Rock

I was going to put this under 'Canadian music" but then people would think Nickelback (shudder), Rush, Celine Dion and Michael Buble. This is slightly more specific and pertains to The Tragically Hip, Sloan, Hawksley Workman, etc. Basically Tim Hortons is a donut shop, started by the hockey player of the same name. Over the years they have have spread across Canada like acne across a greasy freshman's face. But like Canadian Rock bands mentioned above, Tim Hortons and CBC you can perform a magic trick: cross the boarder into the USA and watch them magically disappear! Why is this? I'm not really sure. In Toronto The Tragically Hip can sell out huge venues but mention their name in, say, South Carolina and you get someone frowning and asking, "Who?" The fact is, outside of Canada nobody cares. Except other Canadians outside of Canada. It's an interesting kind of ex-pat mentality that takes effect... no matter how much you hate them in your own country you find yourself talking about them to other Canadians when abroad. Weird. About as weird as my craving for a double-double and a maple dip at the present....

Burger King - Hip Hop

Like the musical genre of hip hop, BK has lost it's way somewhat and is clouded. Overshadowed by gangster rap, legit hip hop gets stuffed behind misogynistic and materialistic BS. Poor Burger King is the same; delicious menu items offered in the European Burger Kings have yet to find their way across the pond. They just don't fly in North America because the demand for mediocre fare accompanied by toxic plastic toys is too great. That's the problem with western culture - it doesn't know what's good for it.

And now back to tour talk. We still have some USA dates as we leave Florida and make out way north and eventually back into Canada. We also have some summer dates to announce as well. Tell your friends...

Mar 30 - Charleston, SC @ Tin Roof
Mar 31 - Charlotte, NC @ Snug Harbour
Apr 01 - Richmond, VA @ Playing Field
Apr 02 - Morgantown, WV @ 123 Pleasant Street
Apr 03 - Lafayette, IN @ Lafayette Brewing Co
Apr 04 - Cleveland, OH @ Now That's Class

SPRING 2010 CANADIAN DATES w/ local support:

Apr 05 - London, ON @ Call The Office
Apr 07 - Ottawa, ON @ Mavericks
Apr 08 - Montreal, QC @ The Green Room
Apr 09 - Toronto, ON @ The Horseshoe + White Cowbell
Apr 10 - Thunder Bay, ON @ Black Pirates Pub
Apr 12 - Winnipeg, MB @ The Pyramid
Apr 13 - Regina, SK @ The Gaslight
Apr 14 - Lethbridge, AB @ Henotic
Apr 15 - Edmonton, AB @ New City Suburbs
Apr 16 - Calgary, AB @ The Distillery
Apr 17 - Kelowna, BC @ Doc's
Apr 18 - Kamloops, BC @ Dirty Jersey

SUMMER 2010 DATES:

May 14 - TBC
May 15 - Silverdale, WA @ Pinup Bizarre Kustom Kulture Festival
May 20 - TBC

Jun 18 - Bellingham, WA @ TBC
Jun 19 - Portland, OR @ ROSE CITY ROUNDUP FESTIVAL

Jul 04 - Seattle, WA @ Motor
Jul 06 - Spokane, WA @ Mooty's

Hugs and hisses,

Little Miss Risk